Discover the rudest road trips and tons more car trivia with Detourist Simon Heptinstall

Regular Detourist Simon Heptinstall has written a new book of bizarre motoring facts and stories.

What is the world’s most overpriced motoring holiday? And what would be the rudest roadtrip of the UK involve? These are the kind of questions that Detour enthusiasts like me ponder while waiting in a traffic jam in Surbiton in the rain.

Help is now available to us. Over the last few years I have researched hundreds of bizarre questions affecting cars and drivers. I’ve just published the answers in a strange kind of book. It’s called VERY GOOD Car Stories and someone told me i has quite of lot of fairly interesting things to read inside. My last book of car trivia was widely praised (by my family) and this one is definitely nearly as good.

You can buy it on Amazon as hardback, paperback or e-book here.

You’ll find other answers too. Like who is the world’s fastest blind driver and what is the Taliban’s supercar like? Who spent 50 years driving an electric egg and why was a German teenager banned 49 minutes after passing his test?

But I think it’s only fair to answer those first two questions earlier as a free taster:

At the time of writing, a high-end holiday operator called Ultimate Driving Tours offers three-night luxury breaks to Las Vegas priced at US$21,490 or £17,766 per person. The price, equivalent to buying a small hatchback, includes three nights at the five-star Bellagio Hotel with racetrack views and VIP hospitality at the first-ever Las Vegas Grand Prix 2023 including gourmet trackside catering.

And the rude UK roadtrip?

That’s even more stupid. It came from a press release from a car leasing company that decided it would be hilarious to research all the streets with ‘rude’ names. These people really don’t have much to do they? Anyway, here is what they came up with:

“From Backside Lane to Crotch Crescent, motoring experts at LeaseCar.uk researched the ultimate route for cheeky travellers.

“Shrewsbury, Doncaster and Edinburgh are just three areas drivers will tick off as they embark on the road trip to hunt down UKs crudest spots. And as motorists make their way along the glorious south coast, enjoying the beautiful beach views of St Ives, they can grab a selfie with the infamous Court Cocking road sign. Wales also has a few corkers, with Fanny Street in Cardiff causing many an eyebrow to raise as road trippers drive by.

“Some road names, like Bell End in Rowley Regis, are so outrageous that they have devalued homes in the area and allegedly caused humiliation and bullying for residents. Research shows that innuendo-laden roads have an average 22% dip in price compared to other houses in conventionally named streets nearby.

“This is bad news for many homeowners because there are at least 17 Cock Lanes across England and Wales. However, despite petitions by local residents to try and change the inappropriate names, councils report having no plans to do so which is excellent news for those eager to make this road trip.

“Tim Alcock at Leasecar.uk said: ‘We have created the rudest road trip in the UK, which is bound to be the weirdest drive you’ll ever take. From Dick Place in Edinburgh and Semicock road in Northern Ireland, this road trip is so inappropriate we suggest not taking your kids on this one.’”

So for anyone who, amazingly, is still reading, here is Leasecar.uk’s rudest roadtrip:

•      Backside Lane, Doncaster, South Yorkshire

•      Dick Place, Edinburgh, Scotland

•      Assloss Road, Kilmarnock, Scotland  

•      Semicock Road, Ballymoney, Northern Ireland

•      Trailcock Road, Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland

•      Slack Bottom, Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire

•      Lickers Lane, Prescot, Lancashire

•      Spanker Lane, Belpher, Derbyshire

•      Grope Lane, Shrewsbury, Shropshire

•      Hardon Road Wolverhampton, West Midlands

•      Minge Lane, Upton-upon-Severn, Worcestershire

•      Fanny Street, Cardiff, Wales

•      Court Cocking, St. Ives, Cornwall

•      Slaparse Lane, Exeter, Devon

•      Cock-A-Dobby, Sandhurst, Berkshire

•      Crotch Crescent, Oxford, Oxfordshire

•      Titty Ho, Raunds, Northamptonshire

•      Hooker Road, Norwich, Norfolk

•      Butthole Lane, Shepshed, Leicestershire

•      Willey Lane, Newthorpe, Nottinghamshire

If you enjoyed that then you are as sad as me and you might actually enjoy my new book VERY GOOD Car Stories. Then again, you might not.

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